Q & A Time: He's Thinking Of Cheating

"I have never been the kind of guy to cheat. But recently, a co-worker of mine and I have developed something special. I find myself finding it more and more difficult to hide my feelings for her. There is obviously some sort of strong connection there, but on the other hand, my girlfriend and I are in love. How can I love someone yet have feelings for someone else? I am mad at myself for this, yet I cannot help how I feel. Should I act on it? What should I do?"

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Well Russell, aren't you in a tussle? 

What you're wondering is will it work with this co-worker? I'm curious if you love your girlfriend of six months, a year, but the romance and bedroom time have fizzled. So, you get excitement from your co-worker because she respects you and thinks you're wonderful. I'm sure she compliments you, loves your ideas--makes you feel like a real man. If you've been in your relationship with your girlfriend long enough, she may take you for granted and doesn't compliment you enough like she used to. So, you love your girlfriend, but this co-worker gets your engine running.

I hate to break it to you, but if you leave your girlfriend this co-worker will eventually stop complimenting you, making you feel like you're the world to her, and you'll be stuck in the same rut as with your current girlfriend. 

My advice: You need to talk to your girl and tell her that you've felt underappreciated and wish she'd compliment you more. I'm willing to bet she feels the same but won't admit it. If there's also a sizzled sex life, go online and try different moves. Bring toys into the bedroom or see a sex therapist. 

If you have a hard time fixing the relationship on your own, I recommend seeing a couples counselor to make sure you're getting what you need out of the relationship. I don't recommend bailing out without attempting to work on it first; otherwise you're doomed to repeat yourself.