Q & A Time: Why won't you sleep with me!?

"In my last relationship my girlfriend of three years always complained about me staying up late working. She said that for a couple to stay in love they should go to bed together. I never understood this. Wouldnt a woman feel more comfortable and secure knowing her man is working hard to provide for a future for them rather than than rather than packing it in early to sleep????"

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I think what she meant by you two "should go to bed together" was her hinting that you do not spend enough time together. If she put so much emphasis on going to bed with you, it means she wanted to make up quality time that she didn't get throughout the day since you were working. People who get enough attention during the day don't care so much about how much intimacy they get before their zzz's because they were already fulfilled.

As to your second concern, of course a woman wants to feel secure knowing her man is working hard to provide for both of their futures, but we aren't just talking about any woman; we're talking about your girlfriend (or rather, ex-girlfriend). You make it sound like an all-or-nothing situation when it doesn't have to be. I bet your philosophy in life is go big or go home.

You could've talked to her regarding some type of agreement. Why not Monday through Thursdays you can work late as long as Friday through Saturday you spend time with her before you sleep? If you came up with a compromise, you both would have been better off. You felt the need to work hard and make money, while she felt slightly neglected and needed more bedtime attention. The concession would ensure each person got what they needed.

For your next relationship, think more middle ground solutions and you and your girlfriend will be much happier.

~ Anthony